Not The Caning I Wanted

Well I did it, I had the surgery, spend 4 nights in the hospital and I’ve been back home since this weekend. Laid up and for the most part useless.

 

I wont know for a few weeks if the surgery worked but in the meantime the doctor has ordered I dont bend, twist or lift..anything for a few weeks. Yeah, a few weeks.
As a result our roles have changed a bit.
Sade now asks me if I need anything.  I still ask her but what I can provide has been limited to what movies and TV shows I can download for her.

 

I can’t even shower without her being in the apartment since tripping would mean an immediate call to 911. After she helps try off the huge wound on my back, put on new dressing for the wound and helps me get dressed.
Yeah, I can’t even put my clothes on by myself.

 

It’s terribly frustrating for me not being able to do much of anything for her while at the same time she has to do almost everything for me on top of everything she need to do for school.

 

I walk with a cain too.  Currently shopping for one that looks a bit more debonaire than the one they give you at the hospital, I’d settle for a Fred Astaire or Charlie Chaplian model.  I even looked over the ones Sade has and though in the past I’ve felt them and though in Sade’s hands they could stun a team of oxen in their tracks, in mine I cannot walk with any of them.

 

Just a month or two and I’ll be able to do much much more, a month or two after and I’ll be able to do everything again.

 

Until then I’m laid up, in pain and frustrated.  Frustrated that I can’t help myself much less Sade.
The other morning Sade was helping me put my pants on when I apologized to her.
“I’m sorry, this is not what you signed up for when you married me”.

 

Her repy?

 

“This is exactly what I signed up for.”

 

I could have cured cancer, made world peace and solved world hunger and I still wouldn’t have done enough to deserve her.

 

 

All But The Important Bits

I’m having surgery in a couple days and one of the things they ask is if you have a living will and if you’re an organ donor. I marked that I wanted to donate my body to science. 

 

Sade asksed me what I put down, I told her and she responded: 

 

“Everything but your heart and your cock and balls, those are mine forever”. 

 

Still not sure if that’s creepy or romantic but I suppose if it happens I’ll be dead and won’t care that she has my junk hanging from her rearview mirror. The heart I’m guessing will be a bookend.

Found Femdom: Women On Top

These are just a small Nicoline Patricia Malina who clearly has an eye for this stuff.

You can see more of her work here.

Once again thanks to Aarkey for giving me a heads up on these.

At my day job I was recently asked what I want to be doing a year from now.

My mind quickly flashed to what I really wish I could do for a living. 

Interview people.  If I had my way I’d do the Masocast and one other podcast ( a non-kinky podcast, I already know exactly what it would be).  I love talking to and interviewing people.  If I could, thats how how I’d pay the bills.

If I couldn’t do that I’d build websites for people.  In fact that’s what I do for my 2nd job right now.  Every day I get home  I start the 2nd job building websites.  I can’t do it full time however, not right now anyway. 

You know what I’d never want to do for a living?  What I’m doing for a living right now.  My day job is just there because it pays more than unemployment and has health insurance  Very very shitty health insurance but health insurance none the less.  

That’s what I thought of when my boss asked me what I’d like to be doing a year from now.  But I couldn’t say choice number one, and I couldn’t say choice number two.  What did I say?

“I’d love to have one job”.

That’s what it’s come down to.   I’d just love to have one job and only need one job.  Even if it was the job I didn’t like I wish I could just do the job I didn’t like, come home and then not do any work..just be with the person I love more than anything in the world and not work.  

I told him this because it was a shot at the fact that nobody at my day job has had a raise in over 5 years.  There’s nothing he can do about it though, it’s not up to him, nor is it up to his boss or his bosses boss.  It’s up to some assahat at our parent company who probably doesn’t even know what our company does.

It’s easy to forget when you live in NYC that most people in the world don’t do a job they love.  They do a job they tolerate or hate and that’s if they’re lucky enough to have a job.

My father will work a job he doesn’t like until the day he dies.   Speaking from an evolutionary point of view as long as I can somehow retire before death I’ll be doing better.

Don’t get me wrong I still daydream of doing the Masocast for a living.  Can you imagine?  Having fun conversations with kinky smart people and getting paid for it?   Oh the things I’d do, the people I’d interview. The places we’d go!

There’s an alternate universe where that’s possible.  It’s just not this one.

You know I had a point when I started writing this.  It’s escaping me now.  Huh. 

Anyway my hopes is that it’ll hit me someday, how to do the podcast for a living, I hope it hits me while it’s still possible and not on my deathbed.  Can you imagine?  The way to do it hits me and my last thought is “Fuck, I could have done it after all”.  Yeah If it doesn’t hit me while it’s possible I hope it never hits me.

Anyway I gotta get back to work.