The First Date

This week marks the anniversary of the first “vanilla date” Sade and I went on.

I had been serving her both sexually and non for a few weeks at that point.  Doing chores and enthusiastically going down on her several times a day when she told me we were going to go on a vanilla date. 

There would be no D/s, no kink, just a girl and a boy going out on a first date.  

She said she wanted to know me as a person and not just as a sex toy.  She wanted to know if there was something more between us than just kink and sex.

I was thrilled by the idea.  Not specifically the part about wanting to see the vanilla me but just the fact that she was thinking of something more.  By that time I had resigned myself to the idea that I wasn’t going to find anyone for anything more than causal play.

Dinner and a movie, that’s what she wanted.

I had to remind myself not to say “Yes Ma’am” and internally debated what would cross the line from being gentlemanly to obviously in the servant mode.  I wanted to show her I could do it, that I could do more than just her bidding, that I could relate to her, engage with her and connect with her conversationally.  Basically I had to somehow find a way to charm her. pressure.

When I look back now I wonder what the hell I was thinking.  I had picked a nice french bistro. A perfect choice if I do say so myself but for the movie we ended up going to Inglorious Bastards.  Inglorious bastards?  What a terrible pick.  It not romantic, not a classic comedy and it’s a World War II movie.

Rule one of first-date movies..ok rule one of anything for a first date, is to avoid things that may make your date think of Hitler.

In between dinner and the movie I took her geocaching.  Yeah geocaching.  The only thing nerdier I could have done would be to take her to a javascript lecture.

But she liked the geocaching.  She liked the movie too or at least she liked going to the movie with me.

Afterwards we walked along the river.  I kept wondering if I was doing well or not, if I had passed the test. If she was going to  elevate me to more than a casual thing.  I remember near the end asking if I was doing well.  She replied in a way that kept me guessing, she always loves to keep me guessing.

I still get butterflies when I think of that first date.

I still get butterflies when I come home from work and she’s there smiling at me when I open the door.

I mentioned this on the latest episode of the podcast, for the next few months I’m going to be re-releaseing older episodes of the Masocast instead of putting out new episodes.

I really hate having to do this but with the day job, the freelance work and the Masocast I’ve been getting between 3.5 and 5 hours of sleep every night for months and I just need one less thing so I can catch up with everything.

There’s also a good chance I’ll be getting surgery in the next couple of months so that means I need to push harder than usual to wrap up a few projects so I can focus on recovery for a month (

Oddly the latest episode I just released is epiosde #150.  On hundred and fifty episodes, posting just about every other week for years.  It’s gone by so fast and changed so much from that first episode.

I actually feel really bad for putting new episodes on pause but thankfully there are others out there putting out some great kink podcasts so it’s not like kink podcast seekers will go without.

Again I want to stress that this isn’t the end.  In fact I’ll be recording a few epsidoes over the next couple of months so I can hit the ground running when I start up the new shows again.


I’m quite possibly the worst person to watch television with. Or at least I’ve become the worst.

After the day job, my freelance work kicks in.  I usually work sitting on the floor while Sade lays on the couch. 

We’ll be watching a show..ok Sade’s watching and I’m partially watching but mostly working but I’ll be able to tell when something important happens in the plot of an episode. 

It’s at that point I’ll ask Sade to interpret what happened since I’ve been too busy staring at code to really pay attention.

“Wait, sorry, why did the guy throw the live chicken at the nun?

She’ll patiently reach over to the control and pause it, give me the short version to update me, I’ll say “Ah”, and she’ll continue.

A few minutes later:

“Wait, sorry, why is the woman claiming she’s only 1/4 vampire and 3/4 grapefruit?”


Rinse and repeat.

A lesser person would have stopped me long ago and said “Listen jackass just watch it again on your own time later and stop interrupting my flow”.

Not Sade.

Maybe it’s just part of her seemingly infinite patience with me or maybe she’s secretly keeping track of every time I do it in order to pay it back later, but until my workload lightens, this is what our couple time in front of the TV looks like.  

We make a point to cuddle and watch something without any work involved a few times a week but for now this is the majority.  I think that’s what we’d do if we won the lottery, the first thing would be to just chill and watch a West Wing marathon or something without me needing to ask why CJ is upset about Kumar.