The New Dating App For Kinksters Made By Non-Kinksters

There’s a new dating app being marketed to those of us less than vanilla.  Whiplr bills itself as Tinder for kinky people or “Messenger with Kinks: Find a play partner”.    First off I think it’s great that there are more services being marketed to those in the kink scene.  That being said the app has a few flaws that make me think it wasn’t made by someone in the scene or at least I don’t think they asked anyone in the know about some of the aspects of the app.

The first red flag is one of the screenshots

whiplr app screenshot

They clearly don’t know what sounds are in the kink scene.   Now sure you can gather by context that they mean auditory stimulation, no doubt indicating they’re a fan of Randy Newman or like to fuck while listening to Pet Sounds Sessions.  But what if you’re actually into sounds?

Another is the price.  In order to have unlimited messaging and other bells and whistles you’ll need to shell out $19/month.  Seems pretty steep but then again I’m spending all my money on gold plated sounds to afford it.

Perhaps the biggest red flag for me is how they refer to Fifty Shades of..fuck I’m not even going to finish typing it.  If they were in the scene and wanted to be taken seriously wouldn’t they avoid mentioning it in their app description or marketing material?

It’s like when someone’s talking to me about computers and tries to make it sound like they’re an expert and when I ask what OS they use they say “OS EX” instead of saying “OS Ten” .  Immediately I know they’re not an expert.

Then again I haven’t even downloaded it so I may be completely wrong.  I’m literally judging a book by it’s cover.

Here’s the marketing video.

More Women Are Looking For Kink Porn

One bright side of the 50 Shades movie appears to be the interest in kink outside of the book.   I’m sure there are a few who read the books, see the movie, vomit a little and then go about their lives, but PornHub has some new data to show people, especially women, have an increased interest in BDSM porn.  

The graphic below shows their findings.  While I haven’t seen the  movie I’d guess kink porn, as bad as most of it can be, is probably a better representation than the movie.  You can see more of their findings in this post on PornHub.

Found Fem…something or other. Miley’s Tongue Tied

A short film of Miley Cyrus doing something or other.

I always wonder when I see a famous person doing a kink scene.  Are they doing it because they’re waving their kink flag proudly or are they doing it because some think it’s shocking and will get people talking.  Also I wonder how many people start it for shock value and end up thinking “wow there’s something here that’s really getting me gong, I gotta google this stuff..let’s see let’s search for Submissive Man blog…oh wow this Unspeakable Axe guy sounds so fucking hot,…aw damn he’s owned and married, she’s so lucky. Well if you can’t have the best then there’s no reason to try it, back to my vanilla life”.

That’s probably what happens.

Anyway here’s the thing with the stuff.

Your Pain

Note: I’ve had a number of concerned emails of “oh god, are you ok” nature after originally posting  this.  I feel it’s important to note that when it comes to dealing with constant pain of this type, you have good days and bad.  What you’ll read below was written on one of the very bad days.

———

You go to see the doc over a year and a half ago, getting injections that used to work when this was last a problem but now they don’t even put a dent in it.

You develop a limp and a hatred for opiates and other heavy pain killers that you have no choice to be on. The best painkiller costs $380/month so you take the $13/month option and you learn far too much about drugs than you ever wanted. Your friends make jokes about drugs and you laugh because you’d probably make the same joke if you were in their shoes.

You try everything your insurance covers and a bunch it doesn’t, physical therapy doesn’t help but you develop a hatred for people who greet you by saying “hey stud” and try to initiate a high-five.

The pain means you’re unable to play with your owner and now wife the way you used to. No more caning and whipping and even bondage isn’t possible the way it used to be. You’re torn between being in too much pain to even attempt to play or you’re too high on pain killers..to do anything, it removes everything but your desire to cry over the situation.

Finally, after trying everything you decide for the nuclear option….surgery. You talk to every doctor you’ve seen and some you haven’t and they all say it’s the best option. You’ve hit your max out of pocket for the year so the only way you can do it without going broke is to do it now before the end of the year.

Recover is slow, she helps you dress, changes the dressing on your wound and does everything you used to do around the house and it kills you but you know it’s for the greater good. The doc says the surgery went well. The pain seems to be gone for a few weeks then slowly a hint of it returns, then back a bit more and more…and then it’s like you never had the surgery. The nuke was a dud.

You miss playing with her so much that you’ll burst into tears after she tells you about a girl she spanked at a party. You’re less jealous and more angry and yourself and the world that she used to be able to spank you but now it’s impossible, She cries too and for the same reason. Her crying makes you cry harder because you made her cry.

She deserves so much better than you, you’re broken and constantly angry. Pain pills only mask a little it and you can feel the limp slowly returning with every step.

She really should leave you. She needs someone she can play with the way you used to and she’s too good of a person to be selfish enough to leave you, but she should. The noble thing to do would be to become such an asshole that she leave you, find the unbroken version of you and live happy ever after.

You bring up the idea of her leaving you so she can be happy but she dismisses it. You know her judgement is clouded by love, her incredible sense of honor and the fact that she’s a better person than you could ever be.

You hope beyond hope she doesn’t regret it years from now. You’re an atheist and yet you still manage to pray for the one thing you hope never happens..she must not regret staying. Not that you’re making it easy, you blame the pain for being an asshole but maybe you’re just an asshole and the pain is an excuse.

What a fucking joke this turned out to be. All you wanted was to meet a dominant woman, you met….hell.. that you married someone who was far beyond anything you could have imagined and now you can’t even play. There are whips on the wall collecting dust because of you and you’ve cried more tears because of that than the tears those whips could have ever produced.

And yet out of all of that she still somehow manages to give you hope, that you’ll find a way to play somehow. She may be just telling you that to make you feel better but it works.

Because you trust her.

Anyone else would have left you by now.

Found….something. Tongue Lashing

This image has been making it’s way across the web for the last couple of weeks.  Originally reported to be a Dominos pizza ad campaign, it turned out it was submitted (no pun intended…in fact just mentioning that no pun was intended makes me feel lame) by an ad agency but rejected..thankfully.  Still didn’t keep it from making its way around.  At first I thought “why do they have a pair of balls without the rest of the person..ooooooooooooh”

bad dominos ad campaign