I’m sure you can tell from this blog that I’m an expert at finding many dominant women to play with. I offer some advice on how to talk to and appeal to a woman:
Wrong way: Nice feet, they’d look better in my mouth.
Proper way: Is that toenail polish flavored? Wait, don’t tell me…I’ll check right now.
See? Women like it when you ask them questions. It shows you’re interested.
Wrong way: Is there anything I can do for you?
Proper way: Is there anything I can pay someone to do for you?
This let’s her know that you’ve got money. Lots of it. Women love guys with money.
Wrong way: That’s a very lovely whip. Would you like to use it on me sometime?
Proper way: Oh no! Is that a whip? Please don’t use it on me, please no, anything but that!
Two words: Reverse Psychology
Wrong way: Boy this party sure is fun.
Proper way: This party would be so much better if they had free Old Milwaukee.
It shows her you’re classy. A man of the world. If the party you’re at happens to have Old Milwaukee, ask for it shaken not stirred. It’ll make her think you’re 007.
Wrong way: Do you find it difficult to meet someone in the lifestyle?
Proper way: Wow, I’m so busy playing with so many people. It’s nuts. Do me a favor, if (insert movie star name here) walks in can you act like I’m with you so she doesn’t hit on me?
If a woman knows you’re desired by other women, then she’ll desire you. It’s more convincing if carry around autographed photos of your chosen movie star. Bonus points if the autograph says “Thanks for the incredible time, you’re the best sexual partner I’ve ever had, please marry me. Love, Kate Beckinsale”
Wrong way: Perhaps you know me from my blog….
Proper way: Perhaps you’ve heard of me. I discovered penicillin.
This shows her that you’re smart AND successful. Just hope that she doesn’t know who really discovered penicillin or you’ll have to introduce yourself as Sir Alexander Fleming.
There you go! If you’ve been reading my blog and wondering how it is I’m so popular with the ladies, you now know my secret.
Related posts:
- Reader email… Now and then I get emails from readers wanting advice....
**If the party you’re at happens to have Old Milwaukee, ask for it shaken not stirred. It’ll make her think you’re 007.**
Love it. Thankfully I wasn’t sipping on my coke at the time. You’d owe me a new ibook.
So this is how you get all the vanilla sex you want. Now the secret’s out.
“Just hope that she doesn’t know who really discovered penicillin or you’ll have to introduce yourself as Sir Alexander Fleming.” and pray that she’s not into necrophilia.
Too bad I’m not a dominant woman, nor in the same continent, you’d had me with such witty secrets. You forgot to add, we love men that make us laugh. remember jessica rabbit.
You son of a bitch, you mean you DIDN’T invent penicillin? I want that blow job back now.
Jenn: Glad you liked it.
Maymay: I’m writing a book called “The REAL secret”. Hope it sells as well as The Secret.
Joana: Story of my life.
Wendy: Oops. You got me.
This is hilarious… and yes, my toenail polish IS flavored.
Does anyone admit to having a blog IRL? To non-bloggers, that is?
Good laugh for the day, thanks.
Love your sense of humor! I think your secret is your humor…damn sexy if you ask me.
I have had someone use a line very close to the “nice feet” line, luckily I’ve learned to swallow well enough that when I read that I didn’t spit out my drink through my nose when I read it!
Women are suckers for The Beast. I think that any type of “Ice” beer will work in this situation also, but maybe that’s just lesbians.
Great Post and Congrats on the Sugasm Top 3!
Congratulations — I loved your post (I voted for you!!)
xo,
Catalina