Decoding More Dominant Personal Ads

I’ve decoded another personal ad once before.

A friend emailed me a craigslist post recently to give me a heads up of a dominant woman looking for a submissive.

It’s most appreciated of course. I told him that after reading the post, I could tell i was not the submissive for her.

“I am in my mid-twenties, and seeking a partner. I want a best friend, a provider, and a lover all in one person.”

Unless she’s talking about me providing her with canned ham and the occasional beer. My income level wouldn’t allow that.

“I want this man to be a masculine alpha. He should be well-groomed, in-shape, tall, and intellectual. He need not take the world seriously, but be a lover of philosophy. He must be spiritual. He must aim to succeed in his career, but value leisure. He must want to have children.”

Spiritual scares me. I hope she doesn’t mean going to church. Going to church might be a hard limit. The part about my career also makes me thing nothing will ever be good enough for her. As far as wanting children goes….not so much.

“He must be stoic in public, but seek to be overwhelmed by my femininity in private. I want a man who is dominant in public, but submissive in private.”

I have a few posts about this topic in the past. It’s still frustrating to read. Not to mention, I’m hardly stoic.

“I want to be in control in bed most of the time. I want to tell him when we can screw. I want him to beg for it. After I deny sex to him for long enough, I want him to overpower me. “

So let me see if I understand this. She’s going to deny me until I overpower her? Why don’t I just overpower her every night since that seems to be the only way I’ll ever have sex? What if my idea of “long enough” is one day, while her idea is one month?

I sound cranky….I know.

Yeah…I still sent her an email.

  1. also, I’d like a pony.

  2. She wants a Pony and a husband

  3. Lavender Scorpion April 23, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    You still sent her an email! ROTF (I’m laughing with you, not at you)

    My hunch is that this is a *submissive* girl. Not one thing strikes me as even remotely dominant.

  4. She doesn’t sound dominant as much as manipulative, based on that last excerpt you posted.

  5. LOL! I just read the other ad you decoded. Funny!

  6. You still emailed her? Oy, I think you need to be hit on the head with a beer. And just so the canned ham doesn’t feel left out that too. :)
    Beg for it ;)

  7. downtownladybug April 23, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    that girl has no idea what she wants.

  8. Sorry, I just laughed at the idea of you being stoic. Especially with caffeine involved. I bet there’s a scene in there somewhere.

  9. Ha! A pony.

    Yes yes yes…I still sent an email…I know..I know…I suck eggs.

    Hey in my defense, I knew I wouldn’t get a reply back..so….it was like sending an email into a my trash bin.

  10. You sent her an email? I feel like at this point you should start getting creative…sexy haikus or something.

  11. i should have written my post earlier as last night i met a guy who is about to make both my brain and pussy a very happy girl

  12. Oh goodness, sweetie. You emailed her?

    Repeat to yourself, “I am not that desperate. I am not that desperate.”

    Not only is she not dominant, she’s not particularly, um, interesting.

  13. That does sound like my wife put up the ad.
    Anyway, you mailed her. Did she respond?

  14. Yeah, what they all said. This is not a dominant gal, this is what I would certainly see as a submissive gal whose been reading too many romance novels.

    I can’t believe it’s not butt-er!

  15. Catalina Ramirez April 27, 2008 at 9:16 am

    Craigslist is such an interesting place. I am never surprised to see the craziest stuff there. People are very specific about what they want. I have had some success with CL though, so don’t give up! :)

  16. “I want to be in control in bed most of the time. I want to tell him when we can screw. I want him to beg for it. After I deny sex to him for long enough, I want him to overpower me.” This isn’t a dominant – just what everybody used to call a cock tease.

  17. I hope that you report back on what happened with that email!

  18. cruellasadistic August 2, 2008 at 8:41 am

    just because you wear cowboy boots….doesnt mean you can ride a horse
    i think shes playing a role sweety

  19. Vana’she Rask March 21, 2010 at 4:24 am

    It’s astounds me that any dominant would speak in these terms. It’s a darn shame there are so many users and posers. I’m open minded and always welcome new people into the life. But be serious about it. A BDSM relationship is just as serious as a vanilla one. Ty for speaking your mind, and showing that most of us in this lifestyle have humor, thought behind our typings, and appreciate those we get involved with. May you find your other experiences to be more positive. And at least your able to blog about the experience with humor. Be well. Vana’she Rask

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