Overcoming My Fear Of Needle-Play

My first exposure to needles I was drunk and at a party so there was a lot going on to distract me.

The second time I was sober, very very nervous, partially hyperventilating, whimpering and it took a lot of self control to keep from begging her to stop.

The third time went much better.

See here’s the thing. Sade really likes needle play. Ok, she loves needle play. I’ve seen photos of some of her needle play in the past and it scares the crap out of me.

It’s not like I’m afraid of needles when I go to the doctor. It’s just that the the idea of needles being fun is very foreign to me. Whenever I see some of the more hardcore images of needle play, I see what looks like permanent damage.   

My fear may come from an experience I had with cutting once. The dominant made a small pattern on my back (with my consent of course) with a razor blade. I was told the marks would be there for a month or two or three then it would go away. This is true for most people. Well it’s been three years now and I still have a scar from that cutting. So perhaps I associate any kind of breaking of the skin to be something permanent.

Or maybe I’m just a chicken-shit when it comes to needles.

It makes me self-consious as well since I know this is something she really really enjoys and it’s not something I’m good at. I want to be a good needle-bottom (if that’s even a phrase), I want to love it as much as she does. I want it to turn me on as much as it turns her on but I have the opposite reaction. I wan’t to please her in this way but it’s so hard for me to get over that fear.

Well the other night, Sade and a friend were at our place and they were talking about needle play and the next thing I knew I was half-naked, bound on our coffee table with needles penetrating my skin.

But this time it was different. Sade knew how hard it was for me. She would lovingly stroke my skin, gently kiss my lips, giving me words of encouragement telling me what a good job I was doing and even though I was still worried and nervous, she made me much more comfortable.

Even though she was making it much easier, I was still in a headspace that I’d rather not have been in.

She asked me how I was doing and I replied “Fine, but I’ll be better when this is over”.

The second it came out of my mouth I was kicking myself for saying it. Here I was, bound on a table with my amazing owner and her friend playing with me and I was commenting on how I couldn’t wait for it to be over. What an assface thing to say.

I bit my lip and tried to contain myself every time the needle went in.

She kissed me and I would forget all about the needles for a few moments.

She’d stroke my skin and I’d relax a bit more.

Eventually I was able to focus more on the dynamic of what was happening more than what was actually happening. I could feel myself submitting to the needles or more submitting to her through the needles. I was doing it to please her.

Eventually it was over and her friend thanked me and I asked Sade how I had done.

“You did very well, the only way it could have been better is if your cock was hard from the experience”.

Someday, I’m betting it will be.

Here are a few photos of what when down….or…in.