Thoughts

Photo Shoot Ruined Orgasm

Whenever our friend Natasha asks Sade and I for a photo shoot I know to expect a few things:

1: Several people will be naked

2: Sade will certainly be one of them

3: It will be one of the rare moments I won’t be camera shy.

For some reason if someone it taking a photo of my face I get really uncomfortable but if I’m naked I’m totally fine with it, especially if Natasha is the photographer.

We’ve had someone videotape one of our sex romps before, at first we were a bit nervous but eventually managed to get lost in the moment. With Natasha it may be because we’re all such good friends or it may be because she’s seen us in a variety of sexual situations before. Either way it’s something I get excited about and days before hand I’ll try to casually ask Sade “Soooo have you and Natasha talked about the photo shoot yet? Any ideas on what you two have in mind?”

Due to our schedules and some minor illness we weren’t able to have sex for a few days before the shoot so I was especially horny for her by the time the camera came out.

I setup the bedroom, jumped in the shower and tried to think about something unsexy. I remember thinking it may be a bit awkward if I walk in with a full-on erection before things even get started.

This shoot was going to be using some fancy experimental film that would require a lot of stops, holding steady for 30 seconds then continuing. different from our usual shoots we do with Natasha where Sade and I just go nuts.

Straddle each other, play and when Natasha says “hold it” we freeze, she takes a few shots and then we continue.

She wanted some shots of Sade scratching up my back so Sade went to town ripping my back to shreds.

Click

A few more poses and at one point they wanted a few shots of Wartenberg wheel running up the side of my cock, by this time I was dying until someone said.

“Hey how about a cum shot?”

I can’t remember if I said so but I wanted to exclaim what a wonderful idea that was.

Sade began stroking me to the edge while Natasha set up the camera for the shot and eventually told me to get ready, I knew she’d be giving the order to orgasm soon.

After a while Tasha told Sade she was ready, Sade gave the order and I started to go over the edge.

That’s when I forgot about what made this photo shoot different.

Freeze

Again because of the experimental nature of the film, it required us to hold steady so as soon as I began to orgasm and Natasha gave the word Sade just stopped.

It’s been ages since I’ve had a ruined orgasm. For those of you unaware if stimulation stops at the brink of an orgasm, the orgasm still arrives but it’s just enough to barely be called an orgasm. It’s pure torture in the worst kind. I’m pretty sure every time Sade has given me a ruined orgasm she’s violating the Geneva Convention.

I’m pretty sure I swore out of frustration from feeling my balls implode instead of explode. While they got the money shot it almost left me in tears.

Tasha needed a break at this point to change the film or something and I jumped in the shower to clean up. My erection remained and when I got out it was time for some shots of Sade in a few positions that only made it harder on me.

Still I tried to remain professional. The shoot continued and at one point Natasha ran out of the experimental film and went digital .

We continued getting directions from Natasha and at one point I asked if I could come again…ok maybe I begged I don’t know. Either way Sade was kind enough to allow it and holy fuck it made up for the ruined one.

Sade makes this noise when I have an especially big orgasm. It’s a deep and sexy “Yeeeeahhhhh” and she was really cheering me on this time.

Afterwards I think I spent what felt like a day thanking her for allowing me to orgasm the second time.

The next day we had an email with a few of the shots Natahsa took.

Good christ I’m a lucky son of a bitch.

So what is the best way?

Over the past couple of days a reader and I have been going back and forth about my last post. Our conversation was cut short but there was one thing they said that struck home with me and frankly I’ve been stuck on it ever since I read it.

They had a number of good points but the biggest one:

You seem to be more focused on your right to call other people assholes than on finding the best way to rid society of religious and/or homophobic zealots. Since you seem to be unwilling to discuss,  let alone consider, other less swearword-based ways to convert idiots like Eich to more rational, tolerant people, I am probably also within my right to categorise you as an asshole, too.

 

Earlier in our conversation I mentioned that anyone who pushes their beliefs on wether someone else can get married or not is an asshole…basically I said asshole a lot.

After reading that sentence it struck me that calling someone an asshole (even if they are being one) in this context is clearly not the best way to convince the person or others like them into changing their ways or even possibly considering it.

But now I’ve been thinking.  What is the best way?

Whenever I find out someone I know is against gay rights the first thing I usually do is..well..react with disbelief.  If I’m not struck speechless I’ll ask them if they know what year it is, if they have any clue how backwards their beliefs are and while I don’t call them an asshole to their face I’m sure my facial expression shows what I think of them.

Really I have no clue what the answer is.  How do you react to finding out someone you know and maybe love is against gay rights in a way that can possibly sway them the other way when there’s a good chance their beliefs are just as deeply embedded as mine are?

Intolerance Will Not Be Tolerated

Over the past few days I’ve been closely following this story.

The Cliff’s Notes version is that the CEO of Mozilla, the company behind Firefox, donated to the asshats who wanted to ban gay marriage in California a few years ago.  The news of this breaks, a bunch of people start to reject Firefox (including one of their biggest supporters), the CEO then resigns and the internet cheers.

This was important to me on many levels, not just because I support gay marriage but because I make websites.  I had even started putting the code in place that would direct anyone using Firefox and visiting this site or the Masocast to a page explaining why they should switch browsers and would in fact prevent them from using the site until they did so from a different browser.  This isn’t an original idea since a bunch of others had already started doing this very thing but I wanted to do my part.  Thankfully that’s one less thing I have on my todo list now.

The interesting thing about the story is how some are now claiming it’s a loss for free speech.  I disagree, we’re not saying he can’t be an asshole, we’re saying we’re not going to use a product, or in some cases allow the product to be used on our websites, if the CEO of that product is an asshole when it comes to some very basic human rights issues that you’d have to be an asshole not to support.

But that’s not the only story about equality, companies and assholes this week.  Here’s another that makes me want to go buy a ton of graham crackers.

Fail

About a year ago Sade and I came up with a game plan. Or rather I came up with a hairbrained scheme and Sade let me go through with it.

Here was the plan.

I’d bust my ass for a year or so, saving up for a kick-ass European honeymoon and it would also bring in some additional work to give us a buffer in the event we had an emergency. I wanted to start off our married life on the right foot. I’d work insanely hard and it would pay off.

Well it did and it didn’t.

I did work hard this past year. Especially the last 8 months. I’ve been working every day and every night. Day-job and the freelancing at night every night and every weekend while doing the podcast in what little free time I had.

It started out good enough but starting in June I had a ton of medical bills that kept piling up and continue to do so. I emptied my health savings account and almost every extra penny I made from freelance work.
 While I do have health insurance, it’s shitty health insurance and just barely better than no health insurance.

So…nothing left for the honeymoon.

Fuck

Countless nights I worked when Sade and I had a movie night. By that I mean I sat with a laptop while Sade watch a movie.

How many walks in a park did I miss because I had to work.

These last two weeks especially I’ve been down. The wave of lost time and the realizations that I could have been enjoying with her have been lost forever.

The whole time I kept saying to myself it would pay off that I’d be able to look back at all that hard work and smile walk walking hand-in-hand with the love of my life on our honeymoon in Amsterdam, Berlin, Paris and on and on.

So now my only plan is to bust my ass for another year and hope I can take give her the honeymoon I wanted to for a 1st year anniversary gift.

Fuck

Meanwhile Sade has been understanding, supportive and full of love. How the hell she can be this way while I’m filled with rage over breaking the promise I made to her is beyond me.

I owe her ten honeymoons.

I’m In Trouble

I’m in trouble.

Just a little over 3 months from now Sade and I are getting married.

That’s not the trouble part.

The closer we get the more overwhelmed with emotion I get. You see I’m really a softie…really..a hopeless romantic. Sade actually makes me swoon. Really…physically swoon. Swoon!

Stop reading now unless you can stomach some serious cheese. I recognize that.

So why am I in trouble?

We’re writing our own vows.

This is trouble in two forms. The first is that I don’t have the words to explain how I feel. There aren’t words. Maybe in some strange alien language. Maybe it’s “Gleep Glorp” from the planet Fremutron 5 in the Dacor sector.

The other problem is, whenever I think about what to say, I get choked up. Misty eyed and emotional. I imagine standing next to her on our wedding day and I lose it.

So I’m completely stuck. Every time I try and think of the words I get emotional.

Lately I’ve been hearing this song in my mind when I think of it.

Yeah…see? How the fuck do I write vows when I can barely hold it together when I picture it in my mind?

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck

If I was a wealthy guy I’d do it this way:

I’d say..”Sade, I can best sum up my vows…in a song. Please welcome Mr Stevie Wonder!”

I’ll buy a lottery ticket just in case.

Meanwhile I’m racking my brain. How do you write wedding vows. How in the hell can I be expected to evoke the words that summarize how I feel about being her husband?

Step one is to overcome the emotion…then I can work on step two.