bondage

Curious Things

I was asked to make a list of the things I’m most curious about. Thing I’ve had on my must-try-before-I-die list.

Chastity- Maymay wrote about his extended chastity here. Obviously my daydreams aren’t nearly as close as what the reality would probably be. I imagine being locked up and taken out whenever she (whoever she is) wants me. More of an anti-masturbation device than a no-orgasm device. Who knows, maybe she’ll want me locked up for longer durations, or maybe not locked up at all.

CBT- I have limited experience in this area but the hints of it that I’ve experienced have been eye opening. Probably because there are a million wonderfully evil things a woman can do in this area. As with all kinds of pain, it’s limited to those who really get off on giving pain. I hate the idea of feeling pain anywhere but I love the idea of taking the pain for someone who gets off on giving it. Everything from sounds, bondage, clamps, clothespins, you name it and I’m curious about it. The mental image of sounds is enough to make me whimper.

Anal play- I’ve experienced strap-on play a few times. A few times isn’t nearly enough. I’ve only experienced the wonders of the prostate once for maybe a minute. My head nearly exploded. There’s also something very intriguing about plugs and hooks. I have no idea what the appeal of anal play is for a dominant woman. Is it the idea of violating a man? I know what the appeal is on my end of things but the motivation for a woman escapes me. If I knew the motivation it might help me find someone to motivate into doing it.

Predicament Bondage- I was talking to someone the other night who mentioned how much she loved doing it to her boyfriend. I hadn’t thought much about it until I saw how much she loved it. Her face lit up with this genuine evil smile. It’s motivated me enough to read more about it and keep my eyes open for someone with an evil smile.

Electrical play- Nuff said. This is a big question mark for me. I’ve heard it can be either very painful or very pleasurable.

Hypnosis- I’ve heard it’s intense.

Owned- I know now that my previous goal (I wrote about it here) of having a weekend where I was totally owned and controlled by someone is totally unrealistic. Finding someone who wants to own me for a few hours might be more attainable.

The Party Part 1: Bent In Half And Shredded.

I don’t write about my play experiences often for a number of reasons. One of the biggest reasons is that I know I’d never do it justice. It’s been suggested that I write about some of my rare but wonderful experiences just to let you knot that it’s not a total wasteland of play for me. With that in mind, I’ve decided to write more often about it. I always make sure I send a draft to the person in question just so there aren’t any surprises and so they can correct anything that may have been all in my mind.

So, with that in mind:

I was at a private play party with a few friends a while back. Private parties are by far the best for me compared to going to clubs. It’s the difference between flying first class and taking the bus.

As the evening rolled along and people were pairing off to play with one another, I found myself having casual conversations and trying to build up the courage to ask someone to play.

It’s always such an awkward thing. How do you phrase it without sounding especially weird? So very very awkward. Every time I’ve asked if someone wanted to play it’s always code:

“Is there anything I can do for you”? (Translation = “Really, I mean it, please…anything?”)

I was just about to ask someone when she beat me to the punch.

“Want to do some rope bondage?”

I tried to act casual about it and not seem over-excited but I think I said “Yes please” before she even said “…do some bondage”.

I asked if there was anything I should take off and she asked that I take my jeans off. Just hearing those words out of her mouth made bite my lip and tried to keep myself from getting visibly hard through my boxer briefs.

She directed me to sit cross-legged and sitting with her legs over mine facing me and crafted a rope harness around my head with rope covering my eyes. While she was tying my ankles together I hoped she couldn’t tell how turned on I was. That hope was lost when she put her foot on my crotch and pushed me further away from the wall.

“Hell, NOW she knows”, I thought.

It’s possible she saw how serious I looked, I was trying to stay cool and not get too swept away. Her finger gently rubbed underneath my bottom lip, I started to grin and asked what she was doing.

“Just finding your smile”, she said.

Sigh. I could relax now.

She tied my wrist together then the rope harness pulled down to my ankles. I was folded in half with my head to my ankles. She stood up, put her hand on my head (a gesture that far too easily puts me into emotional submission) and I thought how good it felt to be tied by her.

I was glad she asked me to play and I assumed she would be untying me seconds later.

But she wasn’t finished yet.

She pulled my shirt up over my shoulders exposing my back. I felt her hands run over my skin then felt a sharp punch to my back followed by a few slaps. With every punch I fought the urge to thank her for the attention.

Her fingernails were next, carving into both of my shoulder blades back and forth, back and forth. Slapping, punching, clawing.

It’s all a blur in my head but I remember having tiny flashes of mini-thoughts go through my mind.

“Fuck this is heaven”
“Please don’t stop”
“I hope she knows I don’t mind being made to bleed”
“This is what winning the lottery feels like”

She slowed down by gently touching my back for a moment and then I felt a drop of her warm saliva run down my spine.

I think I whimpered.

She began to untie me and I was again trying to act calm and cool, I started to thank her when she put her fingers to her lips and gave me a “shhhhh”.

I almost whimpered again.

I was thrilled, giddy and trying not to smile from ear to ear. I knew I’d be smiling for days and I’d be walking to the subway with an extra spring in my step.

The evening had more in store for me however.

More pain and more smiles.

To be continued…

With Friends Like These…I’m A Happy Guy

I have a friend who will occasionally ask me to be a practice bottom for her, usually with rope.

You know how there are people in the scene who are total nutjobs? They’re unstable, can’t hold a conversation, have no sense of humor and give the lifestyle a bad name?

Yeah, she’s the opposite of that.

The first time I met her was at a social gathering a friend was having. We hit it off pretty quickly. She enjoys providing service as well so while other people were talking about anal hooks and heavy bondage, we were talking about the best products to use while cleaning a tub (Soft Scrub by the way).

Later she told me she was exploring her interest in rope bondage and asked if I’d be interested in being a practice bottom for her.

Boy would I!!!

I’d come over to her apartment, we’d drink tea and she’d practice her skills. There were times when I’d think how funny it might be for an outsider to be watching. If there was a hidden camera you’d see an attractive woman tying up a guy while they discussed backup methodologies for her laptop (she owns a mac, so she’s extra cool).

I’ll occasionally be her practice dummy before she has a date. She’ll have something in mind for the lucky submissive woman and want to try it out on me first. I was flogged for what felt like more than an hour thanks to the fact that she had a date with a masochist the next day. It was intense and amazing. Occasionally I caught myself debating the merits of a sex change since she’s really not into guys.

Another time she had me tied up in a position she was planning for her next play date. My legs were up in the air and I was on my back. She very casually asked if It was easy for me to spread my legs or not. I laughed when I realized she was actually asking, “If you had a vagina, would I have easy access to it now?”

Something she’ll say from time to time reminds me of a song by Todd Rundgren.

Her: So when was the last time you played?

Me: The last time you tied me up.

Her:……We gotta get you a woman.

She’s one of those people who make it impossible not to smile around, she just has this vibe about her. She always seems to be doing things that makes me feel lazy, like I should be doing more with my free time. It wouldn’t surprise me if she called me up one day and said “Hey I might be late for tea tomorrow, I’m going to cure cancer by noon and climb Everest with a few heads of state to fix the whole Israeli-Palestinian thing.”

One of the complex aspects to playing with someone is how I’ll sometimes feel the urge to say “please just fuck me”, even though that wouldn’t happen. Since I know my friend isn’t into guys, that complex part isn’t there. It’s just comfortable. It’s nice. It’s lacking in that other tension.

I do sometimes wish I had a vagina though.

How Much Pain Can You Take?

“How much pain can you take?”

Such an odd question. A great question though, since it hopefully comes from a person who’s thinking about testing just how much I can take.

How do I answer that?

“Lots?”

One person might consider me a pain-slut while another might think of me as a total pussy (to this I always say “you are what you eat”).

I’ve been told I’m a masochist, but it’s not like I have a large sample of opinions on the subject.

I’ve sometimes been tempted to ask what kind of pain since there are many different kinds I have yet to try.

If I’m bound I seem to be able to take more. I think. Maybe it’s just because I like bondage. I’d probably do lots of things more if I could be bound while doing them.

The correct response is probably “How much do you like to give?”.

A number of people have asked me if pain and giving oral are the only things I’m into. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I probably at the top of my mind lately though since sadists are so hard to come by and it’s a a curiosity that has me a bit beside myself.

I mean, I know why I like bondage, I know why I like a lot of things. But I still don’t know why I’m curious about CBT and a million other forms of pain/torture.

I recently joined this BDSM social networking site Fetlife. On it they have a list of kinks that you can check off and show your degree of interest. As I went through the list I kept shaking my had at how much there is that I have yet to try. I also found a few things I had never even considered before.

I only recently discovered the joys of being whipped. Holy fuck is that amazing. If half of my curiosities are as amazing as being whipped I’m in big trouble. Holy fuck that’s addicting.

Even though I loved it I still don’t know how much I can take. How does one measure that?

What is the best answer to that question? What answer does a dominant woman want to hear? What turns her on most?

“Lots”

“Buches”

“A Plethora of Pain”

“How much would you like?”