The Asshole Standing Next To You

axe · May 9, 2009 · Thoughts · 28 Comments

Well it’s been very nice talking to you. You seem really intelligent and funny. Would you like to meet for a drink sometime?

What’s that? Oh that guy? Is he your boyfriend? He’s not?

Oh he’s just a guy you’re kinda seeing. Well that’s nice. Though you seem to be total opposites. I mean, he’s obviously a total asshole. Look how he’s treating the people around him.

Oh Yes, I’m sure he’s very different when you’re alone.

Oh? He’s not? Weird.

Yeah I’m sure he has some qualities that you find attractive. He’s wearing a very expensive suit after all.

Oh it’s not about the money? No, I know. I’m sure there are other reasons you’re with him. I’m sure there are some days he’s a nice guy.

No? Really? Hmm

Guess I’m just surprised because you’re dominant and he’s dominant as well and…

Oh a laywer. Interesting. Is he like Atticus Finch? Making the world a better….no?

Well he seems to be acting much friendlier now, he just grabbed that woman’s ass. Strange how she sneered at him and told him to back off and he just laughed. Maybe they’re just play-acting right?

No I totally understand why you’re with him. You’re trying to change him and make him into a better man. How’s that going so far?

Oh. Well, these things take time.

Me? Yes I’m submissive. Yup, like to please and all that. No, no I know it’s not your thing. You’re dominant after all, and I’m submissive, that would just be weird right?

You probably switch with him though right? So you can get your needs met? No? Well yeah, he’s not into that, that’s interesting.

Oop. I see he wants to take you back to his place now.

Yes. Coffee would be great sometime, I’ll email you and then you won’t reply ever then we’ll meet again at an event like this and it will just be awkward ok?

Ok, well nice meeting you again. Have fun with that asshole standing next to you.

28 Comments

Wilhelmina May 9, 2009 at 1:31 pm

Ah. That sucks. Although I am *completely* guilty of falling for assholes… not that kind of asshole though. Ew.

Bad Bad Girl May 9, 2009 at 1:39 pm

I know… I’m kind of guilty of this- but most of the guys I meet have a delayed asshole reaction.

Alisa May 9, 2009 at 9:33 pm

I’m just curious as to why women immediately feel guilty when presented with this scenario. As if they were accountable to someone other than themselves for who they fall for.

Tom Allen May 9, 2009 at 10:24 pm

Geez.

Been a while, but I’ve been there. It’s a lot funnier with distance and time.

lilblackdress May 10, 2009 at 7:47 am

I had a similar experience with a friend recently – met her man who was a total asshole and my lover and I took an instant dislike to him. His life was all about money, power, prestige, and getting incredibly drunk. His life, and thus by extension her life, seemed to lack a lot of substance. It made me rather sad to see my intelligent, funny friend in such a situation… and she knows he’s an asshole.

It’s hard to show a friend support to help her with her insecurities when the man she’s latched onto is one that I can’t get behind. At all.

advochasty May 10, 2009 at 9:38 am

Lawyers … what’s a good start? 😉

anon, boy... May 10, 2009 at 10:35 am

I’m with Alisa on this.

And there’s some kind of smug entitlement in the piece, as if we’re supposed to believe that the sensible thing for this woman to do is to abandon her man and immediately get involved with you… even submissive men need to be sexually compelling; smouldering dangerous and desirable. Polite, nice conversation doesnt suffice…

(and this is true whether or not her man is an asshole, and whether or not some aspect of that is arousing for her…)

Cinder May 10, 2009 at 5:05 pm

axe, sweetie – darkly brooding gloom is sexy, darkly brooding resentment is not.

So what if he’s an asshole – if he’s an asshole who turns her on, that should be all the reason she needs to be with him 🙂 And your sarcasm at the end there? Are you aching that much for a spanking these days?

axe May 10, 2009 at 6:01 pm

I’m wondering if I should start mentioning when a post was written long before it was posted.

I wrote this almost a year ago. I didn’t post it then because I was worried the woman in question would read it and know it was about her. After reading it almost a year later I thought it was kinda funny (to me).

It was what I was feeling at the time and I’ve never said that my feelings are right, they’re just my feelings.

And Cinder, I’ve never claimed I was sexy.:)

Miss Jaye May 11, 2009 at 2:19 am

It makes more sense that this entry was written a year ago as opposed to recently because I have noticed you haven’t whined about the unfairness of BDSM life for quite a while.
You have written with no less sarcasm but with more emotional maturity so either you’re faking acceptance very well or you’ve actually changed.
BTW I laughed through the entire entry but then I appreciate sarcasm as an artform. 🙂

lethrs May 11, 2009 at 6:42 am

I thought it was a great read. Take out the D/s parts, and its the regular nightmare of trying to make it happen in NYC–I remember the days well.

Sully May 11, 2009 at 9:25 am

Hilarious!!!
P.S. I love posting comments here because I get to hit “submit”.

Lo Down May 11, 2009 at 1:07 pm

“even submissive men need to be sexually compelling; smouldering dangerous and desirable”

Er, what? Since when did ‘asshole lawyer’ = ‘sexy and dangerous’?

I wonder if some people would’ve had the same reaction to this kinda post if it had been written by a woman who was being judgmental about a guy who is with a gorgeous but stupid and evil woman?

Cinder May 12, 2009 at 4:12 am

@Lo Down Oh, much worse! Then this would have been a catty rant by a jealous bitch!