Why I’ve Never Gone To A Pro-Domme..Why I Might Someday

I know I enjoy reading the Mistress Dark blog I recently found on your links list. She really seems to enjoy what she is doing and I can definitely understand her love of what I like to refer to as “button pushing.”

I think in any profession you are going to find people who are doing what they love and people just trying to get a paycheck. There are always going to be some who stand out and make the whole seem bad.

I was going to reply here … but after typing about 150 words in three minutes, I realized I might need to make my own post about it. 🙂

In short, though, thanks for the warm sentiments. My one quibble? “Classy” is a word, always pronounced with a lisp, that I usually associate with women who name themselves after alcohol or luxury goods. i.e. “Hi, my name’s Cristal. Like the Champagne.”

While there are definitely a few pro dommes who are only going through the motions, and don’t have a sincere interest in the scene – they usually don’t last for very long.

If you keep an eye out, and read blogs and participate in events, over time you’ll find that the great majority of pros are very into the scene. It was a something that really surprised me when I first ventured out from behind my shield and entered into the pro scene.

And though I can’t promise you that all of your concerns will melt away, I can promise you that I am grateful that those same fears didn’t stop me from taking the step back in 03. It’s been an interesting journey, and I’m far from Mr. Pro Domme sessioner, but I am very grateful for all that I learned and experienced. And the friendships I have made.

I will add that there are some great positives to going pro. But you have to be a bit around the scene to develop the friendships with people who are already in the scene in order to learn about the who’s who and what’s what. Not all pros are perfect, but as someone who has met Mistress Yin a few times, enjoyed a dinner with Ms. MVX, and considers Mistress Troy Orleans a friend – you have already found yourself among a very high quality group of dominant women, and I mean that in every regard.

I can definitely understand that feeling John and the mental aspect is *the* stumbling block for me with visiting pros as well.

One thing I learned in my adventures was to send a list of my interests. I wrote up three versions – short/medium/long. I would send that in advance of the session, and sometimes make a deposit for the session (as there are lots of guys who are wankers and time wasters.)

From there I would say to the Mistress that “the session is up to you” – I just wish my limits to be respected and some of my interests touched on. Obviously some sessions were misses, and I learned a lot about a lot (like I don’t like fire or electricity play) but I also had some wonderful experiences.

I agree with Aarkey, you have listed really wonderful, quality women who are not in the scene for the money. Sure, they run a business. But what they do is not all about the money. Certainly from my blog reading, I can tell both MVX and MTO really like you. I’ve had sessions with prodommes for almost thirty years. The quality prodommes love what they do and care alot about the people they session with. As well, it is certainly possible to have an intensely personal and emotionally satisfying relationship with a pro. It is it’s own relationship. There’s no familiar template for it. As long as you aren’t expecting to be swept off your feet and ridden into the sunset, it will be a wonderful adventure. I didn’t have lots of money thirty years ago. (Not that I’m Mr. Moneybags now …) I say, save your sheckles and go for it! What have you got to lose?

Very thought-provoking entry. I do have one thought to add: A lot of pros are submissive or sometimes submissive in their personal lives not because they’re only playing at being dominant, but because they’re switches. Calico is an excellent example. It’s also true for me – when I was dominant in my personal relationships, I took mostly submissive calls, and when I started to crave exploring D/s distance dynamics from the other end, I was attracted to more dominant men in my personal life.

For a switch who’s a dominant woman, there’s something very fulfilling about pro work. You meet the most incredible cross-section of people who want to do the most interesting things for you. There’s nothing like the rush of feeling that electric chemistry, that immediacy, of a genuine connection and power exchange even across a phone line or a computer monitor.

My Euro friends have gone (some still go) to discover what they like and don’t, so playing with a steady partner is more focused, a bit less hit-or-miss.

As for my friends stateside, the ones who are married go to a pro, in order to gain discretion.

Like any relationship, it can be superficial or deep. Depends on both parties.

Good luck at sorting this out and finding a solution that pleases you.

I read this a while ago and it convinced me to not go to a Pro, because I shared the same views. I have learnt that the experience is great and you should probably at least go once to try it out. The mental aftermath can be a mind trip if you want something on a more personal level.

…have strong feelings on both sides of the visit Pro divide……but overall it should definitely be explored as the ones i have known or at least most of them were quite worthwhile to wonderful.

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