Posts By axe

Vows

Five years

Five years we’ve been together, and now we’re here. Surrounded by people we love and we’re getting married.

Five years

Even though it’s only been five years we’ve already had enough love, laughter and memories to fill ten lifetimes.

I love the fact that I know the exact moment you told me you were falling for me.

And I remember the exact moment I knew I was falling for you. Mine was long before yours by the way……we’re not keeping score or anything….but I did think of it much sooner)

I remember how after only a few months we decided to move in together and how natural and perfect it felt. There was no question, it was the perfect thing to do, waiting would have been a mistake.

There was the first time we watched MST3K together and you laughed harder than I did. That was one of the first of countless times you made my heart go boom.

There was meeting your friends for the first time and being so worried that they wouldn’t like me, or that I wouldn’t like them. Well I’m happy to report…they like me….and I love them.

There’s that first day we spent in Central Park. I don’t remember being so nervous in all of my life. Who would have known at the time that we would eventually spend endless hours in Central Park hand in hand.

There’s our first trip to the farm I grew up on. It was the perfect combination of the place I consider home, with the person I am most at home with.

But it’s not just these big markers in our lives, it’s the everyday things too.

How you look at me when you think I’m being ridiculous, how you comfort and relax me when I’m stressed out, how you make me laugh, how you make happy even when I’m in pain, how you inspire me and you make me want to be a better person for you.

These last five years have been beyond anything I could have dreamed of. But what about the next five or rather the next 5000?

Will we ever get that house with a backyard? Will we move out if New York or are we lifers? Will we have a kid someday or is the dog enough parenting for us?

I don’t know the answers to these questions but frankly it really doesn’t matter. As long as I’m with you, whatever happens will be magical as it always has been.

I’m so honored that from here on I’ll be your husband.

Honored and overjoyed.

Every morning before I go to work, you’re still sleeping but I lean over the bed, whisper how much I love you and kiss you before I drag myself out the door and away from you.

A few months ago I was kissing you goodbye before work, but I wasn’t graceful enough and I bumped the bed. It startled you and you looked around, saw me, smiled and closed your eyes and started whispering from your dream.

You said:
“You’re my favorite, you’re my favorite of all time”

You’re my favorite too. You’re my favorite of all time.

And I’ll always kiss you in the morning.

I’ve spent countless hours looking for a quote that sums up how I feel. It’s impossible to find one but this one comes the closest.

“Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”

I’m supposed to have a vow in here so how’s this:

I will love you for the rest of my life and I’ll make sure you never question my honor, respect for you and how head over heels I am for you.

I love you.

Not just a formality

Originally it was just going to be a formality. We were going to City Hall here in NYC to get legally married a week and a half before our ceremony. The ceremony was the “real” wedding and this was just something we had to do in preparation for it.

That’s all, no big deal.

We invited a few close friends, one that can’t make it to the ceremony and a few other close friends. Sade put on a nice dress and I, a jacket and tie.

We ride the subway and I become more excited, giddy and overwhelmed as each stop brings us closer. Sade smiles and asks if she needs to order me not to cry and I admit that would probably help.

We show up and literally pick a number, C803, and we wait. Friends offer to hold paperwork watch the TV screen for our number and keep us company. We laugh, people get misty eyed and so do I. What was supposed to be just a formality has become much more.

We’re surrounded by love, couples of every kind. I notice a few same sex couples and I’m proud to live in a state that recognizes love isn’t a sin.

Our witnesses sign on the dotted line and we wait for the justice to wave us into the ceremony room. Our friends start to sigh, squeal and some start to cry, I’m holding it all together surprisingly well.

The justice asks if we promise to love, honor……and at this point both Sade and I are thinking “don’t say ‘obey’, don’t say ‘obey’”…and she doesn’t and we know what the other is thinking.
I put the rings on Sade and she puts one on me and it’s like I’m in a dream.
The whole experience hits us both harder than we expected. We’re married now…legally.

It probably sounds sappy but it’s quite normal for us to glance at each-other and just smile, we’ve been together for almost five years and that hasn’t gone away, in fact it gets better.

Every now and then one of us will look at the other one and say “We’re married now!” and the other will yell back “I know right?”

What was originally just a formality is actually pretty significant and in under two weeks we’ll be surrounded by friends and family as we have the ceremony.

We’re both over the moon and everything is perfect.

Quote of the weekend from Sade as she saw me using mouthwash pre-oral

Are you going to strait-up Listerine my pussy?

Found….Satan?

A friend sent this to me earlier today.  I can’t help but think..ok hope that this is fake but yet another part of me thinks it’s something that was once left on the cutting room floor of some GOP thinktank.

On a related note. Do you think Jesus is pissed that Satan gets all the hot ones?

SatansGirl

My Balls In Bloomingdale’s

First off, thanks to everyone who sent in questions for my interview with Sade.  We talked into the wee hours of the night Saturday.   So many of them were great “evergreen” questions that I’ll probably throw a few of them into my regular mix of questions I ask guests who aren’t Sade.

So Here it is the beginning of May, just a little over a month from now we’ll be married.  There’s so much to do yet.

One thing is to find a ring for myself.  Sade and I want something simple and yet perhaps with a hint of kink.

I’m really not a jewlery guy, yet being with Sade has meant I wear my collar and two nipple piercings at all times. Sade still says a prince albert is in the works (something we talked about in the interview where you can hear me try and talk my way out of it) so picking out a ring is not my forte.

About a week ago we headed to the world famous Barny’s and Bloomingdale’s here in NYC.  The last time I was in Bloomingdale’s it was with Sade about five years ago this summer.  As we walked in together the memory rushed back to me.

Cue dream squence music

I had just started serving her and a bunch of friends were headed to the beach.  Sade said I needed a new swimsuit since the “trunks” I had just woulnd’t do.  She wanted to see me in something smaller.   We went to the men’s department on the gazillionth floor, sade handed me a bunch of options and waited outside the dressing room while I went in and changed.  She sat down on the fancy mini-sofa while I walked out of the dressing room wearing nothing but swimsuit after swimsuit while trying not to look completley mortified since Sade was not the only person in the waiting area.

To make matters worse on one of my exits from my dressing room I managed to close the door completely causing the door to lock behind me.  I then had to walk out into the main area of the men’s department to find an employee with a key.  I swear it took ten minutes for me to find someone with a key to unlock the door. Imagine some dude with his junk barely covered walking around a department store trying to get someone’s attention.  

Yeah that probably happens all the time in New York City but they usually arrest those guys.  

I remember Sade laughing at one point noticing my balls were hanging out of the leg of one pair in particular. Apparently the designer didn’t have balls in mind when designing them and I had possibly spent my time wandering Bloomingdale’s looking for someone with a key with two-thirds of my sex organs on display.  Fun fact:  Those were the pair Sade ended up having me own.  I still own them to this day and the balls-thing is a constant concern.

Fast forward almost five years and we’re looking for wedding rings in the same department store.  

Now if my junk had been out while trying on wedding rings…that would have made for an even better story.

FYI if you’re looking for men’s wedding rings, avoid Bloomingdale’s in Manhattan.  They have less than ten in a massive buildng filled with jewelry.  I shit you not. Less than ten.