Sade has been entertaining the idea of having another submissive over from time to time for service.

My 2nd job takes up so much of my time and the thought is that getting a service submissive to help pick up some of the slack would make things a bit easier.

The biggest issue is my hangup with not being comfortable with another male submissive in the house serving her. A female submissive is another story in my mind, it’s weird and it’s a hangup I really wish I didn’t have.

It’s similar to how I feel about anything sexual between Sade and I and another person. A female submissive has things that I can’t offer and I have things a female sub can’t offer. I wouldn’t feel the same type of jealousy or competition or worry if there was a female submissive here.

We’ve actually had a female sub over for service once and I was much more comfortable than I had imagined I would be. She only came over to our place once and that was it but I worried about it the days leading up to it and when it happened I was only slightly uncomfortable and didn’t feel like I was in competition or anything….super casual.

The problem is, I know it would be easier for Sade to find a submissive guy than finding a submissive woman. It’s just my hang-ups and worry that keeps it limited to a female sub. I hate myself for feeling that way but there it is and Sade respects that even though it makes things harder for her.

I know right now someone is thinking “Well if you really wanted to please her you’d be fine with a submissive guy coming over”. I know, right? This is what I tell myself over and over. I’m standing in the way something being easier for her. Trust me, those words pop into my head every time the subject comes up and it makes me angry at myself.

So I don’t know. It’s not like Sade is actively looking for anyone for the position. If a female came up to her she’d probably entertain the idea if she was a fit. She’s mentioned that if we did have a submissive here then I’d be the “Alpha sub”. I don’t know exactly how that would look but it sounds like she’d have me help delegate things.

I think about it often and it comes out the same way:

Idea of a female sub servicing Sade = “Not a threat and could be fun?”
Idea of a male sub serving Sade = “Who’s that creepy asshat make him go the fuck away”

As I’ve mentioned before I’ve had submissive tendencies for as long as I can remember.  While the earliest of these revolved around Wonder Woman and Daisy Duke I was recently reminded of another big “Ah ha” moment when I was growing up.

X-Men #170

The big trigger revolved around the main plot.  The leader off a band of subterrainian mutants, Callisto, kidnaps the X-man Angel  to take him as her mate.

I found two panels that really did it for me. )

 

The first is an image of Callisto having pierced Angel’s wings and bound him to a wall.  In the panel she declares..well a bunch of stuff but the key is:

“As for why Angel’s here — every princess must have her prince and as for me who more fitting ..than the most beautiful man in the world”

I read this long before I even knew what sex was but I must have looked at this a billion times and never wanted to be a superhero as much ad I did then.

But it gets better.

(Wait I should say right here that I know Angel eventually loses his wings due to this scene but it wasn’t that obvious at the time and..there’s no blood here or anything and besides I was a kid)

And yeah..it gets better.

 

Pretty blatantly She looks at him, holding his face and says:

“Comfy my pretty-pretty? Looking forward to our wedding night? I certainly am.”

Again I’m a kid, I didn’t know exactly what happened on the wedding night but I knew SOMETHING happened and it involved nakedness.

Later Storm fights Callisto, kicks her ass and frees Angel.  So essentially two women are fighting over him and the kid version of me didn’t know it but this idea was going to define my kind of D/s.   A strong dominant woman desires me so much that she’s willing to take me for herself, slap me up on a wall and while it may hurt she doesn’t want me injured so much that I can’t fuck…I just cant’ fly.  Wait that came out all wrong but you get the idea.

No bit of femdom porn would define my sexuality as much as this and other slightly-similar scenes would.