Events

Super Fuck-Off Shield

· March 20, 2008 · Events, Thoughts · , , · 21 Comments

The Super Fuck-Off Shield

That’s what one dominant woman I know calls it.

It’s the look she gives guys when she wants the creepy ones to stay away from her when she’s at a kink event. She admits that it probably keeps the non creepy ones away as well.

I have one friend who has perfected the Super Fuck-Off Shield so well that she can make a guy turn around as he’s approaching her with one look.

The strange thing is, I’ve seen women put up the shield and then later hear them complain that there aren’t any good submissive men to play with.

So how does one convey interest to play without projecting the creep factor?

A dominant friend posed this question recently and she didn’t know the answer. It’s one of those you-know-it-when-you-see-it kinda things.

When I first moved to New York I was horrible at approaching dominant women at kink events. I’d walk up to someone, introduce myself, offer to buy them a drink and when I brought it to them it was like I wasn’t even there. They’d take the drink and move on.

I was apparently creeping them out.

I never made the mistake of doing what some guys do and just walk up to a woman and ask if I can worship her feet or if she wanted to play with me. I knew that part was creepy.

After a few drink-and-disappear situations, I decided it was best to just not approach at all. After all, not approaching gives me the same result as approaching and I get to save my beer money if I don’t approach.

Economics wins again!

There have been times when I’ve stumbled into a conversation or two and I always wonder how to broach the subject of playing but never did.

I thing it would always come out sounding like this:

“Yeah I know, that sub-prime mortgage thing is messed up. So do you want to beat me or something?”

Or

“Soooooo…yeah…..umm… is there anything you’d like to do…to me??? Or…on me?”

Or

“Hmm you know what? I’ll bet you a dollar you can’t beat me until I’m a puddle on the floor. C’mon, put you money where your mouth is. I probably have 45 cents in my pocket right now that says you can’t.”

Either way I sound like a tool.

I know the trick to getting vanilla women. Vanilla women are easy, just act like you have options or that you could care less and that’s pretty much it. It makes me sound like a total ass I know. I only learned this after I gave up dating vanilla women and trying to introduce them to the joys of a submissive guy. As soon as I gave up and stopped caring, they started showing interest.

It doesn’t work that way with dominant women at kink events.

Probably because they have options and could care less.

Cuddling And Why It Pays To Be A Pro Domme

· February 29, 2008 · Thoughts · , , , · 9 Comments

I’m such a freak for cuddling.

I love it.

I can’t cuddle with just anyone of course, but wow. When there’s that connection. The warm body, the smell of her skin. The way two bodies can fit together so perfectly.

Have you ever woken up while cuddling, maybe at 5 or 6 in the morning and your just barely awake enough to realize your cuddling but you can’t think of anything else other than the feeling of being half awake and cuddling? That my friends, is perfection.

I’ve heard of Cuddle Parties, and have been tempted to go to one here in New York. The thing is, I doubt random cuddling would have the same result. It’s an interesting concept though.

It would have to be in my top 5 favorite things in the world. Cuddling along with being beaten, bondage, oral worship and…hmmm something else.

Maybe a Macbook Pro.

That reminds me, a Pro Domme friend of mine recently made a guy buy her a Macbook Pro.

There was some sub that just emailed her out of the blue and wanted to pay for her bills, so she said “OK, here you go…oh..and buy me a new Macbook Pro”, and the guy did it!

Can you imagine? Someone buying you a Mac and they’ve never even met you?

That’s even more intimate than cuddling with someone you don’t know.

ClubFEM New York: My Bum On Display

· February 19, 2008 · Links, Thoughts · , , , , , · 9 Comments

I was incredibly excited when I found out New York was finally getting its own chapter of ClubFEM.

ClubFEM (Females Enslaving Males) is one of the only organizations I know of that are dedicated to dominant women and submissive men.

From their website:

“ClubFEM NYC is a social organization composed of individuals who want to develop sincere Female dominant/male submissive relationships. The Dommes are in charge of the activities at all times. ClubFEM Dommes are considerate and caring Women who want the D/s experience to be enjoyable for all participants. ClubFEM members get to know each other very well and even get together for vanilla activities occasionally. The Dommes are friendly and helpful to other Dommes who wish to grow in their knowledge and abilities.”

For me, the environment is very comfortable. I feel at ease going to a ClubFEM event. All of the submissive males are treated with respect and the dominant women are all very approachable, friendly and…well…dominant.

I would say that ClubFEM is more like a lifestyle organization than a kinky organization. There is a difference.

Having gone to one of the ClubFem parties, I will say this. It’s the first time I’ve been really a bit embarrassed (or bare-assed) by the dress-code.

Submissive males are encouraged to wear one of these.

565-Bowtie.jpg

And one of these except in black.

532008877.jpg

It wasn’t so bad since some of the other submissive males were dressed the same, though it was a bit of a humbling experience. I guess that’s the point though isn’t it. I was there providing service and every time I got up off the floor to get my friend a drink or some food I could feel several eyes on me. I’ll admit, part of me enjoyed being on display while all of the women were fully dressed. A very new experience for me.

There was just something about being in a place where I knew every woman was dominant, or at least dominant while at the events. Submissive and switch women are welcome to come, though they aren’t allowed to be submissive to a man while there.

Yet another nice thing about CluFEM is that they don’t take advance of submissive men. They could easily make submissive men pay hundreds of dollars just to become a member, but they don’t. Sincerity is the most important thing of all.

Every guy I talked to seemed to view their submission the same as I do, I’m not just kinky, I’m submissive. It was clear that they didn’t show up just to try and get their rocks off.

There were a number of women who arrived with their own submissive males. It was nice to see people who were living the reality of a Female Dominant relationship.

I can’t say enough good things about it, I know I’ll be going to many future munches and parties, I’m sure this group will grow and grow.

How About A Happy Post?

· January 9, 2008 · Links, Thoughts · , · 6 Comments

I’ve realized that this li’l blog of mine can really seem like a depressing read. While the main focus of it is a way for me to internalize my feelings and express them, I also realize that a few of you actually read it (hell you know I didn’t order you to) and I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me.

I do want you do know that, for the most part, I’m really a happy guy. It’s only when I’m writing about this one topic that I do tend to focus too much on the hardships and not focus enough on the good stuff.

Hmmm If only there were a way for one of you to spank me over the internet when I’m getting too maudlin.

A few good things (and yes, I’m sober as I write this):

-My circle of friends continues to grow unexpectedly from this blog. I’m meeting some new friends this week and a few next week as well.

-I’ll soon have a roommate and will be saving tons of cash.

-I’m attending a lifestyle event this week and one next week as well.

-I’m planning a european trip this spring/summer where I’ll be attending kinky events in multiple countries.

-I’m now on Facebook! Add me if you’re on and maybe you can kick my ass at scrabble.

-Thanks to Maymay, I’m now enjoying the many benefits of TED.

-I’m seeing HER, again tomorrow night!

I could go on and on but you get the idea.

So please keep in mind that, while I may get a bit down when expressing my frustrations as a submissive male, I do have a lot going for me and I am luckier than most.

Cheers!

My First Night In NYC and My First BDSM club

· January 4, 2008 · Thoughts · , , · 7 Comments

I’ve said before that I move to New York with the hope of meeting a Domme.

My first night in town, before unpacking, before anything, I wanted to go to a BDSM club to meet my future Domme.

I’ll admit I was in total dreamland about the local scene.

“This will be great”, I thought “I’ll meet several Dommes tonight and hopefully have a date or two setup and maybe meet my future owner. it may be best if I don’t unpack my things because she may want me to just move in with her by the end of the month”.

I had no fetish clothing of course. Why would I need any? I had never been to a BDSM club before and had no idea what to expect. Though I did imagine what it might be like.

I had spent months online, emailing people, reading up on the local scene and trying to find the best places to go. My first night was a weeknight so I knew that I would be a fairly light crowd.

I had several options of where to go but I picked one that didn’t sound so intimidating.

Calling it an event is using the term fairly generously. It was more of a gathering than an event. It was at a seedy looking bar and the cover was 30 dollars or something like that.

Ok wait. Imagine this. Farmboy from the midwest, first night in NYC, not knowing how to navigate the subways or even how to hail a cab, going into a BDSM club to find what has brought him here in the first place.

I walked in and (stupidly) was expecting to find this:

What I saw was this:

Ok..not exactly that..but basically a bunch of guys sitting around.

Then I saw her…a very attractive woman sitting on a chair with one guy on each foot worshiping her toes. I asked around and learned that she was a pro and I could worship her feet for fourty bucks or something like that.

It was a bit of a rude awakening but at least I knew what I was in for.

Obviously I had entirely the wrong impression of what the scene would be like in New York.

It’s normally not as bad as my first night out, but I suppose it’s best that I had one of my worst experiences on my first night.

Who knows, maybe there’s an alternate universe where there are a hundred Dominant women for every sub male and I am a very happy boy.

Proudly powered by WordPress · Theme: Mayer by Pressware.