Friends

Improve Your Kink And Help A Friend

· September 3, 2008 · Links, Thoughts · , , · 5 Comments

One of my good friends was recently diagnosed with cancer. She’s actually someone I’ve blogged about before, someone who’s loved by many people in and out of the scene. Here’s a chance for you to help while improving your kink skills at the same time. Imagine being able to feel good about a good deed while doing something that feels good all by itself. You get to double your pleasure!

If you can’t make the first one on the 27th, no worries, there will be more in the future. Hell, I’ll even let you tie me up (or promise to never ask you to tie me up if that’ll get you to help). Remember the donation minimum is only $25 bucks for rope instruction by people that could easily charge you a few grand for the same info. Feel free to donate more.

The Rope Share

Date/time: Sept 27th, Saturday, 1pm

Location: The Dojo
Donation: $25- and up/per person
Instructors: DeLano, Andy, and Yin assistant: Michele Serchuk

The Rope Share is a bondage workshop that is structured to fit your skill levels and interests. There are three highly skilled, bondage instructors and a teaching assistant. The attendance will be limited to 12 students and divided into three groups so you will get individual attention and tutoring.

If you are a beginner, an instructor will teach you the basics of safety, negotiations, and the elemental ties needed to start your bondage exploration. If you are an intermediate player and are interested in advancing your rope skills, are curious about how to tie a certain harness or position, or want to learn more about body positions and how certain ties affect your bottom’s headspace, this is a perfect environment to ask those questions. If you are an advanced player and want to see how other rope tops tie, how different styles can enhance your own, this is a safe, non-ego space to hang out and play.

Couples are encouraged to attend together, but singles are also welcome as this will be held in a lab environment. Please be open to dance both parts for the sake of the education.

Bring Rope: 4 lengths of 25 ft. rope; 2 lengths of 50 ft.; and safety scissors. Cotton, nylon, hemp, and jute are all fine.

ALL proceeds will be donated to benefit our dear friend and rope bondage enthusiast, as she fights the battle of Lymphoma B cancer. We plan to continue this workshop as a monthly event for as long as it is necessary. Future workshops will include Men-only and Women-only attendance so please inquire about those dates if that is a concern.

To sign up, contact Yin at MistressYin@gmail.com. For the men’s-only workshop, please contact Andy at BikeguyNYC@earthlink.net. Title the subject line as “Rope Share Sign Up” and include the following information in your email:

1. Your name (Scene name or legal)
2. Contact number and email address
3. Rope bondage experience and skill level (Please be brief)
4. What you are interested in learning
5. How you heard about this workshop

Sign up now as places are expected to fill quickly! Beginners to advance rope players are all welcome!! If you have never tried rope bondage before, but are curious to learn, this is a safe space to share and learn as a top or a bottom!

Some Goodies And A Rant

· August 24, 2008 · Events, Links · , , · 5 Comments

Just a few items for you this post:

-If you liked part one, maybe you’d like to read how it looked from her eyes. Silly how she can write half as many words but it sounds twice as hot from her perspective. Reading her write about it makes me blush and gives me a big boost of confidence. I love being thought of as a gift for someone. MVX…Sigh.

-I won’t be able to make it to Dark Odyssey, this year. My funds are more than a little tight these days and I can’t justify paying for it when I could be spending my cash elsewhere. My hunt for a new job has started, it’s slim pickings for a man of my talents. If only NPR was hiring.

-Speaking of radio. I’m shopping around for some podcasting equipment. I hope to have something going by the end of the year. Basically just casual talk about kink. If you or anyone you know is open to sitting down and having your voice broadcast to the masses in a free-from exchange of ideas, let me know.

-While in France, I found the opposite of Found Femdom:

Blech
IMG_2389.jpg

-Someone must have emailed the wrong person because I’ve been accidentally invited to join BestSexBloggers.com. Who knew?

-Floating World had its ups and downs. On the plus side I got to see my friend Yin give a presentation. I wish more presentations had that kind of energy to them, classes are so much better when the teacher is having fun and is really into the subject at hand. I also saw my first presentation on CBT from Suzanne SxySadist, it’s made me even more curious about CBT. That was the upside to FW.

The downside was the fact that they didn’t have a professional ASL translator on hand. They had someone who knew about as much American Sign Language as I know (not nearly enough) and this is a problem considering my best friend Bondage Freaky is Deaf and only went because she knew they would have a professional there. PLEASE people, I beg of you, don’t over-promise and under-deliver when it comes to things like that! The guaranteed way to piss me off is to upset a friend of mine. I’ve cooled down (a bit) since then but I’m damn sure I’m going to quadruple-check to make sure everything is up to par with all future events she goes to.

I’ll say this again so there’s no misunderstanding: Floating World is a great event, the presenters are above and beyond, the people you’ll meet there are fan-damn-tastic and the organizers really seem to have it all put together well. BUT….. they really messed up on getting an appropriate ASL translator. I shouldn’t need to explain why having a good translator compared to an OK translator is important, but I will. It’s the difference between reading about a football game in the newspaper where you can only understand every other printed word and sitting on the fifty-yard line live at the same game.

Ok…end of rant.

I’m gonna go read MVX again to put myself in a good mood.

Sigh

The Party, Part 2: Tenderized

· August 21, 2008 · Thoughts · , , , , , · 11 Comments

Continued from part one

I had just been tied up, scratched, beaten and drooled on. I was a very happy boy. I was standing around trying to keep a big silly grin from taking over my face.

Troy came up to me and said “Hey how’s it feel to finally play at a play party?”

I wanted to say “good” or “fine thank you” or something that sounded more cool but what came out was probably something that sounded like “awwwwwwweeeessssoooooooooommmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.

That was when Troy mentioned that the party would be coming to an end soon and then added, “Lets whip you first”.

This was to be the second time Troy had whipped me at a play party. After the first time she mentioned how everyone stopped what they were doing just to watch. I can’t say that I blame them. People probably stop to watch Troy put butter on her toast.

She had me take my shirt off and face her A-frame mounted on the wall. My hands gripped the wood as she started to make rhythmic beats on my back.

This is where things get really foggy for me. When I’m experiencing this kind of pain, everything else goes away. The only thing that exists is me and the other person but there’s no time involved. There will be moments when it feels like it is lasting forever and others when it feels like it just started a nanosecond ago.

I only remember emotions. Sometimes I get angry. Not at the person doing the whipping, but at the pain. Sometimes I get angry that it’s not always there when I need it and sometimes it’s because it just fucking hurts. Maybe anger isn’t the right word. It’s just a release of emotion when I feel that kind of pain. I was a little embarrassed when I realized everyone was looking at us. (Ok maybe more Troy than I, but hey…I was the sidekick to this little show).

For me, bdsm is more about the person than the act (not that it’s not about the act as well..but…well you know what I’m getting at). Troy almost becomes the whip– she’s not using an implement as much as she’s making the whip an extension of herself. The whip isn’t whipping me, she is.

It was raw. It was hot, it was…yummy.

She’d build up the pain so I was on my tiptoes, moaning and conflicted. My natural instinct to move away from the whip was muted by the desire for more and to get closer. My back would arch when she’d repeatedly hit the same spot again and again. Even though I had half of my clothes on I still felt naked and raw.

I have no clue how long it lasted.

Afterwards, I gave Troy a big hug (dropping down to kiss her feet would have been a but much but it was my initial thought) and a few people came up to me and shook my hand.

Shook my hand?

One guy said “that was some show…good job”. I had no clue what to say to that other than “thanks, it’s…what I do”.

I think there’s some chemistry that comes across between Troy and I. I trust her and she knows how far she wants to push me and she knows that I’ll go that far.

Later I walked to the subway, the cool air coming up under my shirt. Rope marks still on my arms and possibly even on my face.

I sat on the subway feeling stronger, more confident, powerful even.

And very turned on.

Please Help Jefferson!

· August 5, 2008 · Links · , · No Comments

Even If you don’t know who Jefferson is, the reasons why you should help him are more than just personal. It’s a matter of principal.

I’m not asking you to help out because he’s helped me with advice on how to meet kinky women. I’m not asking just because he’s a good guy. I’m not asking because one day he may meet a woman and say “Oh? You wanna try what with a submissive guy? I know just the person for you…”.

I’m asking because if this stuff can happen to him, it can happen to any of us.

An important member of the sex-positive community urgently needs our help.

Jefferson—blogger, educator, and friend to so many of us—is at this moment fighting a court battle with his ex-wife, who is seeking full custody of their three children.

Jefferson’s love for his children has been well-documented on his blog One Life, Take Two for years. His ex-wife has stated in court that he is a “great” father who loves his children.

However, among her claims is that his
bisexuality makes him an unfit parent.

Jefferson needs our help now. As a writer, his resources are limited. The costs of fighting this case are mounting quickly—and will certainly run into the tens of thousands of dollars.

As of today, there is an urgent and immediate need for at least $20,000 to cover costs associated with attorney fees and those of the law guardian who has been appointed to represent the children.

If he is unable to pay these fees by August 11, he will be forced to relinquish custody of his children.

This case is of concern to anyone whose sexuality does not fit the standard mold—because it could happen to you. This case is of concern to all writers, because Jefferson’s blog is being used as evidence against him—and that could have repercussions for our First Amendment rights.

Here’s how to help:

Make an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson’s legal defense by visiting the Sexual Freedom Defense and Education Fund at:

www.sfldef.org

There you will find out how to donate to Jefferson’s Defense Fund via PayPal or if you prefer, check or money order.

Please note that you MUST mention that your donation is to be used for the JEFFERSON LEGAL DEFENSE FUND.

In the coming days, www.onelifetaketwo.com will be relaunched with information about Jefferson’s ongoing case. Be sure to visit his blog for updates. In the meantime, you can contact Jefferson directly at friendsofjefferson@gmail.com.

Thanks very much for your time and concern.

With Friends Like These…I’m A Happy Guy

· July 26, 2008 · Thoughts · , , , · 6 Comments

I have a friend who will occasionally ask me to be a practice bottom for her, usually with rope.

You know how there are people in the scene who are total nutjobs? They’re unstable, can’t hold a conversation, have no sense of humor and give the lifestyle a bad name?

Yeah, she’s the opposite of that.

The first time I met her was at a social gathering a friend was having. We hit it off pretty quickly. She enjoys providing service as well so while other people were talking about anal hooks and heavy bondage, we were talking about the best products to use while cleaning a tub (Soft Scrub by the way).

Later she told me she was exploring her interest in rope bondage and asked if I’d be interested in being a practice bottom for her.

Boy would I!!!

I’d come over to her apartment, we’d drink tea and she’d practice her skills. There were times when I’d think how funny it might be for an outsider to be watching. If there was a hidden camera you’d see an attractive woman tying up a guy while they discussed backup methodologies for her laptop (she owns a mac, so she’s extra cool).

I’ll occasionally be her practice dummy before she has a date. She’ll have something in mind for the lucky submissive woman and want to try it out on me first. I was flogged for what felt like more than an hour thanks to the fact that she had a date with a masochist the next day. It was intense and amazing. Occasionally I caught myself debating the merits of a sex change since she’s really not into guys.

Another time she had me tied up in a position she was planning for her next play date. My legs were up in the air and I was on my back. She very casually asked if It was easy for me to spread my legs or not. I laughed when I realized she was actually asking, “If you had a vagina, would I have easy access to it now?”

Something she’ll say from time to time reminds me of a song by Todd Rundgren.

Her: So when was the last time you played?

Me: The last time you tied me up.

Her:……We gotta get you a woman.

She’s one of those people who make it impossible not to smile around, she just has this vibe about her. She always seems to be doing things that makes me feel lazy, like I should be doing more with my free time. It wouldn’t surprise me if she called me up one day and said “Hey I might be late for tea tomorrow, I’m going to cure cancer by noon and climb Everest with a few heads of state to fix the whole Israeli-Palestinian thing.”

One of the complex aspects to playing with someone is how I’ll sometimes feel the urge to say “please just fuck me”, even though that wouldn’t happen. Since I know my friend isn’t into guys, that complex part isn’t there. It’s just comfortable. It’s nice. It’s lacking in that other tension.

I do sometimes wish I had a vagina though.

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